Dragon Fencing: E3: If you hate Twitter I wouldn't bother reading this one

Thursday, June 12, 2014

E3: If you hate Twitter I wouldn't bother reading this one

I love E3, I mean who doesn't? All the game companies playing a bigger dick contest and instead of it being painful to watch you get to bask in the glow. YOU the GAMER get to win the contest. You get the prize because they need to win your support. That being said Nintendo blew that contest out of the park.

My string of consciousness for this event will probably be the most helpful demonstration of how I felt. Note: It will make a little more sense if you read from the bottom up (but not much more). Also I apparently forgot to tweet anything about the Nintendo stuff-- so just know that I am way too excited about it.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Andrew house sounds like a fake name. #E32014 #e3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Don't advertise a game with dial up sounds. Its scary and not in a fun way. #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

The fellow being interviewed looks like a caricature of a real human. #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Ryan Clements...did you get beaten up a lot as a kid #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Minotards.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Is it weird that the more that they show me assassin's creed, the less I care? #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

How did I miss cuphead? How did I miss this? SO pretty #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Omg how just said beta killed me. Beeta. I'm dead. #E32014 #E3Live

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

While it is impressive there's no load time...why do I want to play a game where I just drive from one end of America to the other? #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

But here we are EA beating them to the punch. I am sure that'll make someone happy. #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I thought that Microsoft would be the first to put a woman on stage. The feminists I'm forced to listen to certainly though so too. #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I am so sorry @AGuyWithAThing that you have to put up with all these tweets.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Why would you care about Dragon Age if you could play something more relevant-- like Witcher or.....Witcher? #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Wait-- Dragon Age is still a thing? I thought that died too. #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Worse yet- it actually good. Both visually and conceptually. #E32014 #E3

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I have so many mixed feelings about Sar Wars ranging from disappointed realization and jovial childhood. So how am to trust this? #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I will say it. I don't trust Star Wars. Not because I am a treky- but because I love Star Wars. #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Okay, I weirdly excited about he ability to co-op the new Assassin's creed. #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I've tweeted a lot today. All the games all the things. SO much to say. So many weird choices.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I really don't want an Xbone. Does anyone I know have one? I kinda really wanna play Phantom Dust. #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Why does Phantom dust 2 look so freaking cool? #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

YO WHO WANTS TO GO GRIFFON HUNTING! #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Man, I love multiplatform options. Then I can have all the games #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

He just doesn't stop talking. Show me more of the griffon #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

The water in this play through--- and those horses are rather impressive. #E32014

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

He's apparently Polish....dumb

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

DEM TREESSSSS

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Hacksaw swords aren't practical- but damn are they cool looking. Witcher-- there are reasons they aren't used >.>

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

The witcher guy has a weird accent.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Witcher never grabbed me until now.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Descent of the Tomb Raider even sounds better.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Also tombs are down generally.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Seriously, Rise of the Guardians. Rise of the Lycans. Rise of the planet of the apes. Rise of the triad. The creativity astounds.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Why does everything have to he Rise of the _______

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I am a huge tomb raider fan--- but that name. Dear lord.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Rise of the Tomb Raider? Are fucking kidding me with this name?

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

You know the games these press conferences speed through? If they focused on those I would be way more into these things.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

ridley scott. Halo. Digital. I am sure someone is excited.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I can see this will the 'deeply personal story of Master Chief' -eyeroll-

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

...Halo you never cease to bore me.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Oh Conker! Don't eat that chocolate. You found it in poo land.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I'll be honest, I never thought I would see Conker on a screen that big.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I am watching a piece of shit sing at me and make poop puns.  I think I found a game for @Savannah_Girl18

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Conker sure has gotten cuter.... but um weird choice.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Fable...fable is still a thing? I thought it was dead way before this.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I can't handle this Dead Rising thing. It's pretty redic.  They just said Boom shaka likey. I can't do this. Next

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

You can't make me buy the Xbone.

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

I am kind of worried though- doesn't look like something that a lot of Xbone owners would play. I know I would buy the game personally..but

Zylphy @UndeadSlytherin ·

Sunset Overdrive looks pretty awesome.

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